The Journey To Faith Can Be A Long Road (Part 3)

Well, this is the third part of my journey to faith. Are you still with me? The last part ended up with me moving to Yorkshire which was another pivotal moment in my life.
A decision that made no sense to my logical mind, but looking back, I can see that God was putting us right where he wanted us to be.

We quickly settled in up North. I was working as a locum, Bella found a church in Penistone, and our lives became shaped by a familiar routine. 

I got a great contract in Leeds which lasted for over 2 years. The money was good, and I had Mondays off, so this allowed Bella and I to spend some time together. 

When that ended, my next contract was in Scotland, which meant working away from home all week. This wasn’t great, as we had the weekends together, but Sundays consisted of her going to church, and I was still determined to stay away at all costs.

I decided that I wanted more control of my life, so started to look at working online to earn some extra cash, and this became more of an obsession over the next few years. 

So, once again, we started to drift apart and lead separate lives. I was very selfish and tried to spend every spare minute on the computer looking for a way to make this online stuff work. 

I also decided to get a permanent job for more stability, and in 2012, I ended up moving from science into the IT side of things, which certainly wasn’t on the cards, but it really worked for me. I was still using my knowledge of pathology, but in a different way, liaising with pathology laboratories and implementing their IT systems to talk to the main hospital systems. 

This kind of job allowed me to work remotely from home a lot of the time, but even though I was around more, I was still absent emotionally. 

This went on for another 6 years and eventually came to a head in 2019. Our marriage was on autopilot and routine. I really feel ashamed writing this but it’s the truth.

After 23 years of marriage, Bella finally managed to get me to go to church! I didn’t really want to go, but somehow knew I had to. The people were kind and friendly enough; many knew me as Bella’s husband, and a few seemed genuinely interested in me. 

But my guard was up and I was ready to do battle! Let’s see you Christians explain the creation account in Genesis that completely contradicts all known science! 

But they didn’t do that. They just wanted to know about me. I continued going, so was exposed to the worship, preaching, and prayer. As the weeks went on, I began to feel less uncomfortable.

Surprisingly, I agreed with a lot of the things that were being preached (if you removed the God aspect). I could agree with the moral aspects of the Bible with no problem at all.

As people became more comfortable around me, the conversation would inevitably move towards faith, and I would simply state that if I couldn’t believe Genesis 1:1 why would I believe the rest?

One man had the wisdom to not get into a debate with me, he simply gave me a book to read, and this book was to completely change my life! 

The book, Evolution’s Achilles Heels, is written by 9 PhD scientists who all believe in a literal 6 day creation and could logically explain how the evidence for creation was far more compelling than that for evolution.

I started reading, highly sceptical that I would learn anything, but I was shocked at how convincingly they could show that the evidence we see in biology, fossils, geology etc. make far more sense from a biblical perspective. The key here was that I approached it with an open mind, determined to go where the evidence led me.

This was the first time I’d ever seen anything like this, and it rocked my foundation. It ruthlessly exposed all the flaws in the evolutionary model, and reinterpreted them in terms of the creation account in Genesis. 

I was really shaken, so decided that I needed to look into this more deeply. I spent most of the year reading, watching and listening to evidence from both sides of the argument, and the more I looked, the more I became convinced that everything made more sense when looking at the evidence through a biblical lens. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. 

I was still going to church on Sunday’s, and actually started to look forward to it!

Finally, in February 2020, I decided that I needed to decide where I stood; there will never be enough evidence to completely convince anyone of anything, so I had to make a leap of faith, I suppose. 

The thing is, by this time it really wasn’t that difficult. So, I gave my life to the Lord in Feb 2020, and literally a week or two later, the world came to a halt due to the coronavirus pandemic!

We weren’t allowed to meet up, church was stopped and lives put on hold. My work life continued as normal due to my remote working.

But I had no-one to disciple me in the early days. We did church online on Sunday mornings, and sometimes midweek but that was about it.

In many ways, I count this a blessing as I wasn’t in a position where I relied on the church for my walk with the Lord. I was still researching things, and I could talk things through with Bella.

This all had a huge impact on my marriage and my kids. I can honestly say that I have never been closer to my family than I am now, and I bitterly regret all those ‘wasted’ years. 

I also see God’s protection and guidance, helping me to study the right things so I didn’t get led astray, or start to follow strange doctrines.

The conversion in Feb was an intellectual one; I can see that now. As I studied more, I heard the true gospel message, and the moral Law and the reality of Heaven and Hell. I suddenly realised that I was a sinner and would go to Hell if I didn’t repent, so in June, I had the heart conversion. This was my true salvation, being born again and becoming a new creation in Christ. 

Since that day, I have started and ended every day with a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving for what our Saviour has done for me; what He had to endure for me; someone who had arrogantly dismissed Him for 50 years, but He still loved me, and died for me. It truly is amazing.

When church resumed, and a baptism was announced, I immediately signed up. Standing on that stage before going into the water was surreal, and if someone had asked me 18 months ago if I’d be standing on that stage, I would’ve laughed at them.

But God never gave up on me. Bella never gave up on me. She prayed unceasingly for me for over 21 years, so this story is as much a testimony of her faith as it is my journey. 

Since then, I have found out that so many people were praying for me in the church and that is so moving. It just goes to show that God can soften the hardest of hearts, and the most sceptical of minds. 

So, for those of you with partners who don’t yet believe, I say this, “Never give up, the Lord is working. Be patient for God’s timing is perfect.” 

I hope this journey of mine will bless you and encourage you, to show you that nobody is a lost cause. Please keep praying, persevering, and being a living witness, and the fruit will come. 

God bless you all…